Are You Amish & Gay?

Are you Old Order Amish and gay? There are many of us out there and many would like to connect with each other but do not know where to begin so this may be a beginning! An ex-Amish man from the Midwest has his own farm and is interested in hosting others with the long term goal of inviting other gay Amish to live with and practice the Amish lifestyle there (farming, carpentry) as well as possibly forming a church.
If you are interested or know of LGBTQ Amish that may be, please send me an e-mail at: queeraspoetry (AT) gmail DOT COM (all requests for anonymity will be honored).

Our future is what we make of it!

"Lovejets: Queer Male Poets on 200 Years of Walt Whitman" Nominated for A Lambda Literary Award!


The Amish, including my own ancestors, were among those complacent in this shameful chapter of history. On their behalf I apologize and I hope the Amish Church will issue a formal apology for contributing to Native genocide.

The Good Men Project: Princess 4 POTUS!

My latest for THE GOOD MEN PROJECT - A look at third party candidates running in 2020 including a PRINCESS 4 POTUS!

The Good Men Project: Amish Gun Control

My latest for The Good Men Project, Amish Gun Control has been published. This piece is about how gun violence affects every community, and touches all of our lives, regardless of faith.

University of Pu'uhuluhulu

I made it to the University of Pu'uhuluhulu yesterday for two classes, a geology class and How to Be A Better Haole and had an amazing time!

My Cafe Astrology Report

* I had my chart done last year but interesting to see what Café Astrology has for me. Do I believe in astrology? I believe it when Mercury is in retrograde! Amish consider astrology 'witchcraft' but they used to practice hexing so there's that.

Natal Chart Report

The Sun

The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality, and outward-shining creative energy.

The Sun is in Pisces
As the twelfth and last sign of the zodiac, Pisces contains within itself a little experience of all the signs. This gives Pisces Suns the ability to identify with people from all walks of life--from all backgrounds--in some way. These individuals are not only changeable and adaptable, they have open minds and tremendous understanding. But Pisces itself is often misunderstood. Pisces Suns may spend a good portion of their lives yearning for understanding, and the other part in a state of divine discontent. Suffering is sometimes glamorized in the Piscean world.

Sun in Pisces people are frequently pegged as wishy-washy, but this is all a matter of opinion. What you will find behind a vaguely directionless, spacey manner is a deep person with real dreams. Their dreams are more than getting that picket fence or making it up the corporate ladder. Pisces are tuned in to a higher purpose and their dreams transcend the individual. A deep love for humanity, and compassion that knows no bounds is found with this placement of the Sun. Pisceans are not known to be cutthroat business types, nor are they given to throwing themselves out into the world in an aggressive manner. But make no mistake about it, Pisces can be extraordinarily successful when given the chance to express themselves. The arts, marketing, music, teaching, drama, healing arts...these are all fields in which Pisces can find expression. Their imagination, attunement to humanity, and remarkable intuition endow them with enviable gifts of insight and creativity.

Pisces is a sensitive sign--both sensitive to criticism and sensitive to others' feelings. Easily touched by human suffering, at least in theory, Pisces wouldn't hurt a fly. They believe in people, are deeply hurt by compassionless human behavior, and have a hard time saying no. Harsh realities are avoided either through escapist behavior or self-delusion; but every now and again reality does raise its ugly head, and hits Pisces over the head. This is a sad time indeed. Pisces retreats into their own world, self-pitying and giving pep talks to themselves ("I will never trust again!"). Rest assured, though, that these periods are rather short-lived and even useful. Pisces seems to derive energy from their (generally short) bouts of self-pity. They come back stronger, with a spring in their step, ready to face the world again, and just as, if not more, compassionate and trusting as they were before. Some might even wonder if Pisces finds pleasure in suffering. Sometimes this is the case, but most of the time, Pisces pulls a lot of creative energy from sadness. Pisces is the poet or artist with angst, although this trait is often more apparent with Moon in Pisces.

Some find Pisces' tendency to be late for appointments, spaced out behavior, and absent-mindedness amount to irresponsibility. Pisces would be shocked to know this, however. Who me? Pisces wonders. Irresponsible? Pisces Suns absolutely care--their love knows no bounds--but their retreats from ordinary life (whether they are as simple as daydreams or actual departures) that they so seem to need every now and again are not always understandable to no-nonsense signs, such as Virgo or Aries. Many Pisces seem almost allergic to things like shopping lists, maps, directions, and instructions, and for some brave souls, even watches -- they prefer to feel their way through life than to follow some plan. We find plenty of artists, poets, and musicians with Sun (and other personal planets) in Pisces. Piscean themes are woven throughout the songs of Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, for example.

Short description:

He is compassionate and sentimental. He likes isolated occupations: administration, archives, history. Spirit of self-sacrifice.

Potential issues: tendency to be led astray, lack of experience or inability to apply experience practically. Lethargy, over-sensitivity, and emotionalism.

Pisces with ascendant Virgo

Sun in VI: The Sun is in the sixth house

The work that you do, and the services that you offer, are very important to your sense of identity. In order to feel good about yourself, you need to be busy with daily activities and to produce work you can be proud of. Focus on finding a suitable and rewarding avenue for expressing this part of you, being extra careful to choose an occupation in which you can express yourself. You are sensitive to criticism about the work you do, and you work best when you can create your own schedule. Positive feedback for the services you render is important to you, but be careful not to over-identify with the appreciation you receive from others, as your work and your health suffers when you feel under-appreciated. Motivation to do a good job should come from within.

309 Conjunction between the Sun and Mercury

Because your ego and your mind are usually on the same page, you possess much mental energy. You are always in a position to think about what you want, and in many ways, this is an interruption of the will. You are highly intelligent with a great drive to communicate with other. You invest a lot of pride in your intellectual capacities. You may not always listen as well as you speak, however! You might be too busy thinking about what to say next. But you are very curious and although you enjoy expressing yourself, you usually don't dominate conversations completely.

As far as studying or learning goes, you are better off reading the material than listening to a teacher. These traits come from a strong need to take an active role in communications. It is very hard for you to passively listen and absorb information.

Your opinions are usually strong and you are an independent thinker. You tend to be proud of your opinions and thoughts, and might easily get a bruised ego if you are not "heard", if your opinions are pushed aside or ignored, or if your opinions are criticized. You are expressive and possibly a very animated speaker. You are also very witty and others enjoy your playful and sometimes mischievous sense of humor.

270 Conjunction between the Sun and Venus

Social relationships are extremely important to you. You are generally charming with an easy-going manner. It is generally quite important to you that you are personally popular, to come across in a pleasant way, and to be liked and appreciated. Sometimes, vanity is part of the package. Venus is a peace-making, harmony-loving planet, and those with Sun conjunct Venus do their best to seek peace and harmony. You are diplomatic and a veritable expert at smoothing over (and sometimes glossing over) problems. You are openhanded with others, tolerant and accepting. When expressed negatively, you can be superficial and two-faced, and you can be very much tied up with appearances--your own, and sometimes others'. You might be too agreeable, too pleasant (at the expense of honesty), and downright lazy at times.

You have a fine eye for style and enjoy pleasing surroundings. You generally dress well and enjoy a certain amount of luxury. You are gracious, romantic, and sometimes romantically impulsive. You tend to rely on the power of attraction to bring people to you, rather than aggressively pursuing love interests. There can be some vanity involved here--you are most attracted to people who express interest in you, or who respond well to your charms! You are not the type of person who overtly pursues people who appear to be indifferent to you.

You are not competitive in the aggressive sense of the word, and you are not someone who loves a good chase. Instead, you work your charms and draw people to you. Your ability to attract others (Venus) is very much tied up with your ego (Sun). Because Venus rules all things feminine, all those with this aspect tend to be quite attractive.

40 Trine between the Sun and Jupiter

Endowed with generosity and friendliness, in some ways you appear to be lucky in life. You attract good things with a positive frame of mind and a charitable disposition. Rarely entirely "down and out", you are usually well-received, helpful, and well-informed. You may enjoy travel and have a special affection for foreign places and people. You're generally not very competitive, and for the most part not combative either. As a result, you are usually well-liked.

You are usually good-hearted, possessing strong morals and much faith in life and in people. You prefer to find the good in situations and in people. You don't have a lot of patience with those who break the rules, as you generally believe in order, equality, and the law. You usually make good on your promises, and the sincerity you exude can be trusted. Looking on the bright side is your forte--people can turn to you for a pleasing dose of faith and optimism.

You are quick to chuckle and can't resist any appeal to your sense of humor. Some people with this aspect are downright jolly. Others are less conspicuous, but their faith in life and willingness to find humor in life are nevertheless obvious.

-104 Opposition between the Sun and Saturn

You faced a fair number of challenges in your life, especially in the first half of life, in which your attempts to express your will were often thwarted. There can be a persistent feeling that you don't get what they want in comparison to others. You can feel unlucky at times. Attempts to control your environment, and sometimes others, may be frequent.

You want to be considered an accomplished and important person, and when you face obstacles, you don't always see that you are your own worst enemy. You may long to be considered important in the eyes of the world, yet you harbor fear of success at the same time. You take failures and minor setbacks to heart, and may even practically beat yourself up over them. Self-awareness to the point of real self-consciousness is a possibility. The truth is, nobody holds a microscope over you, except for yourself. A little setback or a faux pas needn't be analyzed to death. Fingers needn't be pointed. No, you didn't make a spectacle of yourself when you made a mistake. You need to stop worrying about always being right, or appearing suave and accomplished. When you ease the pressure you put on yourself, you find that you don't face as many brick walls. It is very much about what you feel you deserve. Deep down inside, if you let yourself truly believe that you deserve happiness and peace of mind, you will find it.You may engage in a lot of self-censoring: "I shouldn't.." is a common censoring mechanism with you. When you express egotism of any form, some part of you feels guilty. As the Sun rules our conscious mind, it does enough censoring on its own. It is the "adult" within us. Saturn, on the other hand, is more like the "parent" within us. We need parents to guide us when we are children, and to some degree as adults, but for the most part, we don't need to be censored indefinitely--something that seems to be the case with Saturn-Sun hard aspects, except that the censoring and parenting is coming from within. Ideally, you eventually learn that the standards you set for yourself are too high, and that may be the reason you seem to hit brick walls. You have a sarcastic sense of humor, a keen intelligence, and the ability to apply caution and strategy. The vitality may suffer, and troubles with the bones, teeth, and circulation may surface, especially at times of stress in your life.

66 Trine between the Sun and Lilith

You are mostly comfortable with the darker side of your nature. A student of human nature.

The Moon

The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image. The Moon represents the emotions, and the Moon sign shows how a person expresses themselves when at home, at ease, and comfortable.

The Moon is in Cancer
This is the most subjective position of the Moon. The Moon is "at home" in the sign of Cancer, as the Moon is the natural ruler of the sign. Moon in Cancer natives have a large potential to be able to get in touch with the feelings and moods of others. Often, they are quite wrapped up in themselves. Their memories of the past are outstanding, especially for all things emotional. Moon in Cancer people are never detached--they cling to things, their home, and people they care for. They seek out security and familiarity in all they do. They look for peace and quiet. Their attachment to all that is safe means they are a little leery of change. These peace-loving souls dislike superficiality in all of its forms. They are devoted and accommodating. The insecure ones accumulate things in an attempt to feel secure.

Because of their strong attachment to, and memory of, the past, others may complain that Moon in Cancer natives tend to whip a dead horse. They may dwell on hurts long after everyone else has moved on. When they feel they have been taken for granted (which may be often!), they don't always confront others directly. This is when they can use roundabout ways to get your attention. In fact, these natives, when they are insecure, can become quite manipulative. They can also be victims of habit. These people can have a hard time compartmentalizing their lives, simply because their watery Moon tends to know no boundaries. Sometimes, as a result, they may act irrationally.

One of the most delightful characteristics of Moon in Cancer people is their loony sense of humor. These people can be extraordinarily funny. Their moodiness can baffle others, but their unique outlook on life is something most people can appreciate. When treated with tenderness and understanding, Moon in Cancer natives return the favor with warmth and protection. Give them security, and you'll take the crabbiness out of the Crab, at least for awhile. These people are wonderfully dependable overall, despite their occasional mood swings. Make a friend of Moon in Cancer, and you will be taken care of for life.

Short description:

He is likeable and sociable. Very sensitive to environmental conditions and surroundings. He likes home, habits, comfort and his little world. Very caring and protective of loved ones.

Potential issues: subject to indolence, inertia. He is impressionable and too sensitive. Family problems.

Moon in XI: The Moon is in the eleventh house

Lots of friends, relationships. He makes friends easily and uses his relationships to further professional success. Feelings of friendship are sometimes superficial. Often, lots of children or nurturing friendships.

This position of the Moon indicates an emotional need for a feeling of belonging with, and support from, friends and associations with groups. You look to acquaintances for support, and offer the same in return. A changeable or unstable social life might be a reflection of inner emotional unrest. Waxing and waning feelings for others can cause problems in your relationships. You are a person who is filled with many dreams, wishes, and hopes for your future, and most of these are altruistic and good-hearted desires. However, you might change your aspirations frequently, with your changing moods, and have a hard time settling on goals to work towards as a result.

82 Conjunction between the Moon and Mars

You are a passionate person who loves life. Although your emotions are powerful and immediate, your passion is generally controlled and directed. You are a sexual person who nevertheless doesn't get too carried away or controlled by your passions. Because your emotions are strong and you know how to channel them into constructive channels, you don't easily understand such things as "crimes of passion", impulsive behaviors, or emotional excitability in others. You're generally open, accepting, and natural in your sexual expression. You need an emotional connection in order to feel complete on a physical level. You may have an affection and talent for sports, but other factors in the natal chart are necessary to provide the motivation and commitment.

Short description: He is frank, honest, full of vigor and ambition. He is strong-willed and powerful at work. He is a little hard on himself but perhaps more on others whose capacity for action is not as great or inherent.


Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.

Mercury is in Aquarius
Not necessarily loud or flamboyant, but he often has a quiet way of stirring others up. May delight in exposing what he deems biases in others' way of thinking. Very quick to contradict others and to offer a different perspective, he enjoys intellectual debates. Amazing powers of observation, and a quirky way of looking at the world. Humorous and interesting. Likes practical jokes and raising eyebrows. Very fair and objective.

Mercury in VI: Mercury is in the sixth house

Medical profession. Serviceable and generous nature. May meet their soul sister at work, or (if not) through family contacts.

You are a person who thinks of all the details that others forget. Your mind is almost always turned "on" which can make you a little nervous. You are excellent at sorting things out, organizing, and making lists and associations. With your attention to the details and the mechanics, however, you might miss the bigger point! You are exceptionally helpful and others can count on you for making arrangements, researching, and offering advice. You truly love to feel useful. You might have some traits of a hypochondriac, as you notice all of the little aches and pains that others might overlook. Nervous tension could be at the root of many of your health complaints. Many of you are good at crafts, mechanics, or anything that requires good manual dexterity.

83 Trine between Mercury - Jupiter

He is intelligent with big ideas: He is tolerant and has a strong sense of justice. He has good judgement, good sense and has his feet on the ground. He has the "gift of gab," fully enjoys literature and learning. He is erudite and will usually be successful socially.

-140 Opposition between Mercury - Saturn

He is reserved, conservative, ambitious, and stubborn. He might have problems expressing himself, particularly verbally, due to shyness or fear of criticism. Social success may be slow and laborious, but he does not give up easily and is patient. Can spend a lot of time on communications and getting them just right.

Whatever you say and write is self-censored to some degree. It's hard for you to pour out your emotions, no matter how emotional or needy you feel on the inside. This is because you are always aware of what others might think of you with what you say. You are careful with what you reveal to others. You make plenty of disclaimers, and often come across as negative or sarcastic without intending to. You often review conversations you have had with others, and you often kick yourself for saying something you didn't intend to, or for not saying something witty. There can be some feelings of insecurity about how you speak and communicate in general. Self-consciousness and hypersensitivity is experienced with regards to your intelligence and/or ability to get ideas across to others, especially in youth. You need plenty of positive feedback from others in order to feel more confident and less "blocked".

Recognize that you are most likely harder on yourself about how you communicate than others are. Ask people close to you for an objective point of view. Chances are, they find you to be astute, intelligent, and an effective speaker or writer. We often tell our kids "don't worry about what others think", but telling this to a person with a hard Saturn aspects is not enough, nor is it realistic. They will worry. You rarely accept compliments whole-heartedly, yet you crave them and need them. Others around you tend to stop complimenting you, feeling that you either don't need compliments or don't want to hear them. Nothing can be further than the truth!


Venus represents an interest in emotions and values, exchange, and sharing with others.

Venus is in Pisces
Venus in Pisces people project themselves as dreamy, soft-hearted partners. Everything about the way they flirt promises a lovely time. Theirs is an elusive charm -- they are sweetly playful, a little moody, and perhaps a little irregular. They appreciate romance and poetry, and they prefer to "feel out" both you and the relationship you share, so don't expect too much planning ahead. Their sensitivity can be a little misleading at times. Yes, they are sensitive folk, but lovers may find it maddening that this sensitivity is not only directed at them, but towards all of mankind. Venus in Pisces men and women want you to know that their love is unconditional. They are unimpressed by your status, and love and accept you for all that you are inside. They love the underdog and are attracted to wayward folks, or those in need of a little help. With their romantic view of the world, they can be unreasonably attracted to states of suffering and martyrdom, so they easily get into the role of saving someone, or being saved. Unlike Venus in Libra, which thrives on equality, Venus in Pisces is actually turned on by inequality! They can be rather confusing and hard to pin down as they feel their way through their relationships. As much as they may want to, they find it hard to commit. Many do end up committing, however, at least on the surface.

Pleasing Venus in Pisces involves enjoying tender moments and romantic times with them. You won't always be able to count on them. In fact, you can be sure they will stretch the truth every once in a while. But remember they do this because they fear they might hurt you, and they can't bear to cause you any heartache. Try to understand them, although that's never an easy task considering the fact that they don't always know themselves. And, truth is, some Venus in Pisces privately have a love affair going with the idea of being misunderstood. Try to put up with their apparent lack of direction in the relationship -- they are so receptive and open to all possibilities that it is hard for them to commit to any one thing, idea, or even person. These intriguing partners will reward you with a love that is accepting and comes as close to unconditional as humans can get.

Venus in VI: Venus is in the sixth house

He may be devoted to sick or poor people. Might work in a medical or social setting, where he may meet his partner, who can be a great help professionally.

Your expressions of love and affection are practical and helpful. Being of service to a partner is especially important to you. In fact, you might go to great lengths to be available at all costs to a loved one. While you may not be flowery or showy when it comes to expressing love, you show your love by your availability, rendering services, doing practical things for a loved one, and other thoughtful "little" things. Many of you are talented at design work, as you appreciate and pay much attention to all of the little parts that make up a whole, with the goal of finding order and harmony in these systems. If you are not careful, you might pass up on true love opportunities in favor of relationships that serve a practical purpose in your life, or out of fear that you might not find better. Selling yourself short may be something that keeps you from going after what and who you want.

43 Trine between Venus - Lilith

This aspect suggests charm, beauty, attracting others by his magnetism. He is intense in love. Feelings are complicated. There can be brooding. However, he is inclined to embrace, accept, and understand the darker side of his nature.


Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.

Mars is in Cancer
This position inclines toward passive-aggressiveness. These people seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations. They need to feel secure before they act. As a result, they can appear rather slow at times. Their motto is "The best offence is defense". They may appear weak to some, but they can be very strong. Their strength lies in their tenaciousness. Their sex drive can be very tied up with emotional need. At their best, they turn others on with a protective, almost therapeutic way about them. The protective nature of Cancer is best expressed when Mars in Cancer natives are turning the energy outward -- when they are being the protectors of others. Turning it inwards is when there are problems. They must avoid over-sensitivity and self-protection when it comes to sex. Some Mars in Cancer people are especially turned on by the thought of creating a baby.

These people are threatened by indifference. They can be argumentative and manipulative. Their energy levels are variable, and they can appear to move rather slowly. They have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional displays when they feel cornered. With reassurance and confidence, these natives are protective, helpful, and dependable in the long haul. They prefer to handle situations peacefully and humanely.

Mars in X: Mars is in the tenth house

He devotes lots of energy to work, and this can continue well into old age. He is a dedicated worker, not afraid of getting down to it. He improves upon his living conditions, rising above his station at birth. He can complete long-term tasks successfully and with finesse. He is easily excitable, often quick to become upset and in the same vein criticizes even himself.

8 Trine between Mars - Uranus

He posseses exceptional energy. He is impulsive but bold. He may take on risky enterprises for the good of the community. He will often pour tremendous energy into an endeavor. He has a great need for his independence, insisting on his freedom of action. Very open to new methods and different ways of doing things. Progressive and courageous. An innovator.

38 Sextile between Mars - Ascendant

He is energetic and direct.


Jupiter represents expansion and grace.

Jupiter is in Gemini
He attracts the most good fortune when he uses his wit and ingeniousness, as well as when he is versatile, sociable, curious, and puts others at ease with friendliness and sincere curiosity. He values the intellect and sees opportunities to grow and succeed through intellectual, verbal, and written channels. He believes that intelligence and knowledge is the key to solving problems.

Jupiter in X: Jupiter is in the tenth house

He has problems adapting to a humdrum or an uncertain life. He likes comfort. He can move toward a managerial position or position of prestige. His success follows on from that of the parents or in his home town.

75 Sextile between Jupiter - Saturn

He is serious, patient, honest, hard-working, orderly. His judgment is good and he is inclined to think things over. He pursues his objectives to the bitter end, usually knowing when to choose the right moment. He is upright, usually law-abiding and respecting order.

-11 Opposition between Jupiter - Neptune

He is easily influenced. He is a dreamer, perhaps allowing himself to be seduced by others' fine words which are not always sincere or by a new imagined plan that may not materialize. He does not see wickedness right away, preferring to give the benefit of the doubt, but can often be duped by others due to a philosophy that one should trust in people until they prove themselves untrustworthy.

33 Conjunction between Jupiter - Lilith

He could meet a partner much wealthier than himself. Good sexual understanding.

-6 Square between Jupiter - Ascendant

He appears to have a very honorable and generous attitude toward others, and others assume that he has their best interests at heart. Because others see him as tolerant, understanding, and wise, they may also turn to him for advice. May go to excess when eating.


Saturn represents contraction and effort.

Saturn is in Leo
In a position of authority, he likes and assumes responsibilities. He receives favors from patrons, who recognize his merits or similarly he receives honors in return for well-accomplished tasks.

Weaknesses: abuse of power, little feeling in the workplace.

Saturn in XII: Saturn is in the twelfth house

He likes quiet and solitude above everything. He seeks work (or can work) alone, without being bothered. He is too easily distracted or bothered by chatting, outside noises.


Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.

Uranus in Scorpio
Intelligent and subtle. Usually he adores research, inquiry, investigation. Very sensual. May want to explore new ways to connect with others.

Uranus in III: Uranus is in the third house

He is curious and inventive. If he does not study for a long time, he will be self-taught. He is intelligent, with a strong personality. He does not like routine and might regularly go on missions for work purposes or on learning tangents.

3 Sextile between Uranus - Ascendant

He is always changing, somewhat unstable. He is ready to innovate, to change everything. He is inventive.


Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.

Neptune is in Sagittarius
May especially enjoy long voyages, things foreign, being close to water. Altruistic, broad spiritual vision, humane, spiritual.

Neptune in III

He has a lot of imagination, high ideals. He is nostalgic. Dry, cold facts are hard for him to absorb, so traditional academics might not appeal.

40 Sextile between Neptune - Pluto

He is perceptive and able to see layers to a situation. He is naturally drawn to learning what makes himself and others tick.

-10 Square between Neptune - Ascendant

He is very easily influenced and fragile. He may suffer disappointments due to high expectations.


Pluto represents transformations, mutations, and elimination.

Pluto is in Libra
May look for new ways to relate to others.


Black Moon Lilith represents our darker, deeper natures that may be repressed or buried.

Lilith in Cancer
He may have felt ashamed for being needy or dependent and now feels awkward or even angry with people who display these traits without apology. He can feel very uncomfortable asking for help and/or expressing his own nurturing nature as a result. Accepting the very human need for care and concern in himself can be empowering. It can also help eliminate extremes of behavior in these areas where he expresses neediness to an extreme, after which feeling remorse, and then repeating the cycle.

North Node-South Node

The South Node represents our overdeveloped character traits. We are talented here but if we overdo this area of life or hold onto these traits to feel secure, we may stagnate. The North Node points to the qualities that we need to work on and develop to achieve inner balance and fulfillment.

North Node in I: North Node in the First House

He is brilliant at negotiating. He is learning to assert himself, express himself more plainly and confidently, and act with more independence. Moving out of his comfort zone for him is developing his autonomy, but it is a fabulous lesson that boosts his relationships. Once he learns to embrace his independence, close partnerships can be happier and more fulfilling. Fear of making poor decisions can keep him in a state of fear. It is better to make some poor decisions and bounce back than to stay in a state of limbo. Qualities to develop: boldness, decisiveness, independence, assertiveness.

The Houses

House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life.

Pisces with ascendant Virgo

Ascendant is Virgo

People with Virgo rising are often a little understated in their personal mannerisms and appearance, although a lot depends on the position of Mercury (the ruling planet of Virgo) in the chart. Generally, there is an intelligent and reserved aura about Virgo rising individuals that is unmistakable. These are actually somewhat shy people who need time to analyze things around them before they warm up to both situations and people. This quality can be received exactly as that, or it can be received as a rather stand-offish, cool, and even critical manner (depending on the audience). One of the biggest personality traits of this position is body-awareness. People with Virgo ascendants are sensitive to any discomfort or other signals their body gives them. Many are especially interested and concerned with physical health, and some are attracted to mind-body awareness exercises such as yoga. Virgo rising people are often rather particular about food. Although some have good appetites, there can be an unmistakable pickiness about what they put in and on their bodies. Virgo ascendant natives have a tendency to worry a lot, especially when confronted with new situations. They notice the tiniest details that others overlook.

Many people with this position have a tendency to attract (or be attracted to) people who need help. Their relationships may be confusing as a result. Despite the Virgo rising tendency to appear rather collected and professional, relationships can sometimes be messy simply because these natives don't always see their partners and partnerships clearly. There's a quiet charm to many Virgo rising people. Once they have the chance to warm up to new people and situations, you'll find they have a lot to offer. They'll help you out of a jam, go out on a limb for you, and surprise you with a natural modesty under a somewhat critical and standoffish manner.

House II - the second house - is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions.

Libra on House II

Income may come either as a result of an advantageous marriage or union, through artistic expression and diplomatic means, or by a very useful association. Partnerships can help further financial goals. Venus by sign and house can show other areas for making money.

House III - the third house - is the area of social and intellectual learning.

Scorpio on House III

Can make a good investigator because he is very curious, loves researching and does it with a lot of patience, enjoying solving mysteries, cracking a code. He knows how to take risks, while being wary of the dangers or consequences.

House IV - the fourth house - is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth.

Sagittarius on House IV

He may very well marry a foreigner, or go to live abroad permanently and set up home there. At the least, very interested in faraway places. Or, he loves spacious and well-lit homes.

House V - the fifth house - is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling.

Capricorn on House V

The absolute example of the "serious" type. Everything is calculated, the slightest risk analyzed, patience is one of his main qualities. He knows little about chance. One or two love affairs, marriage, a family, all unproblematic - done calmly with love and wisdom.

House VI - the sixth house - is the area of learning by material transaction.

Aquarius on House VI

One of the professions or teaching. Weak point: the circulation.

House VII - the seventh house - is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action.

Pisces on House VII

He may attract partners who need help or who are unreliable. If the condition of this house is good, it can be a warm, artistic, and compassionate union. Sometimes this points to a hasty marriage that just as quickly disappoints. The spouse's lack of energy and vitality will annoy him, and this could lead to the break-up of a union. A second, happier union is likely.

House VIII - the eighth house - is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul.

Aries on House VIII

The spouse will tend to spend more money than he earns. Be careful of any haste that could prove dangerous.

House IX - the ninth house - is the area of learning that shapes the identity.

Taurus on House IX

He may travel little, no great attraction for abroad. Unlikely to change principles, practically never changing the mind or beliefs.

House X - the tenth house - is the area of material action. The Midheaven represents the work one will do in one's life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older.

Gemini on House X

Profession requiring lots of change and movement. If this isn't the case, then lots of job changes. He likes to move, travel, write.

House XI - the eleventh house - is the area of search for social and intellectual security.

Cancer on House XI

Sincere and life-long friendships. The family comes first, however.

House XII - the twelfth house - is the area of education and of emotion. This is where we meet our karma, deal with endings, and sometimes where we bury things.

Leo on House XII

A few problems with authority or someone in charge.



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From the Heart

I want to write a blog post from a personal perspective, on the foundations of our lives and the evolution of the heart. Heady themes! I never write about the men in my life / heart, I save it for myself - and occasional love poems.

Amish never divorce which means there has been, is and will be many unhappy Amish marriages. As the Church forbids divorce Amish domestic abuse victims have no easily available resources.
NOTE: If you are Amish and the victim of abuse or just want to leave the Amish and have no resources please contact: THE AMISH HERITAGE FOUNDATION.

When I was a child Dad, Mom and I visited one of my ex-Amish brothers in Texas. He brought a prostitute to our San Antonio hotel room. I immediately fell in love with her. She cooed over me, called me sugar and honey and fed me numerous cans of A & W cream sodas from the vending machine. I cried when she left. I didn't pay my brother any attention whatsoever. I never really did and vice versa. Years later he called me a queer and I never spoke to him again.

Another of my ex-Amish brothers got married so many times Mom had to start a new page in the family Bible. I was aware of unhappy marriages from an early age which contributed to my phobia of commitment. I hated attending weddings and always did so unwillingly. Dad made me go so I was forced to witness various cousins and relatives traipsing up and down aisles.
If I have attended your wedding, chances are I didn't want to be there, sorry. Still, one thinks about this monumental event from time to time and I proposed once.
"Will you marry me?"
"Fuck no, James... Jesus Christ!"
I have had lovers in my life since I was a teenager but only one long term relationship that would last from 2007 until late 2013 when we called it a day. People evolve and it was a challenge over the years to keep and fight for our Poet / Muse friendship but we did it and survived.

In 2017 I went on a date. He was handsome, suave and intellectual. During dinner he confessed he had reread my book The Literary Party, bookmarked all my social media and was an honest admirer of my work. I was mildly flattered but couldn't get away from him fast enough. As a writer it is always nice to have your work recognized but all of my friends know my position on fame: a total joke. Also my commitment phobia kicked in, right on time!

When I moved to the Hawaiian Kingdom I fell in love with Native Hawaiian men and vowed I would give up my freedom for a kanaka. Of course this was me being romantic, if said kanaka came along I would probably run(!) although I do live on an island now LOL.

My parents had a long, devoted marriage but that was not in the cards for me which I can be thin skinned about. Looking back however I do not regret my love-life choices (well...don't get me drunk!) but I'm still a vagabond today which says something.

I have even been asked out by several gay Amish / ex-Amish men but that was a no as well. I imagined us in an Amish farm house and broke out in hives. Maybe... just maybe friendship can be the foundation and marriage is not for everyone?


Dispatch from Hawaii #16: University of Puʻuhuluhulu

Yes, something very special is happening at Mauna Kea!


  Phone numbers for Hawaii Gov. Ige
(808) 586-0034 (808) 586-2211

-You're outraged that elders are being arrested.

-You oppose the TMT telescope being built on Mauna Kea.

-You support Native Hawaiian people who are defending their own land.

The Long Hot Mad Nights of Summer

And then it was June, and then it was July. The corn grows tall, waving yellow tassels in the sweltering humidity.


... and the fireflies come out, winking in the heavy, dark night. I thrash around the bed restless in the heat. Perhaps I should read...or? I find my headphones and tune in to an AM jungle radio station beaming underground club music from somewhere in the UK. Leftfield, The Future Sound of London, Madonna remixes, 90s trance, rave, house, nu-disco, techno soundscapes...

Occasionally an Amish buggy with drunk teenager occupants blasting country-western music clip-clops by... Dad has settled in for the night so I am left to my own devices.
I pick up my well-read copy of A Capote Reader and toss it aside listlessly. It is too early.
I slip out of the house quietly to avoid evening prayers and navigate the interstate. A purple "beater stick" pulses to Faithless' "God Is a DJ'.

The cityscape glitters, laid out before me. Everything I ever wanted.


The hole-in-the-wall gay bar is dark. A few men sit around watching QAF which will revolutionize our culture:

The DJ at Club #2 bathes the floor in neon colors. Shirtless Adonis mix cocktails and pour beer from behind the bar. I am now actually old enough to order whiskey and Cokes. 


I shuffle on the floor to ATB and escape the clutches of a thirsty muscle queen, losing myself in the music. A known closeted preacher sits on the sidelines leering at me. He sends drinks to my table. I send them back. Back on the floor a stunning Latin dancer contorts to the beat, kissing me slowly to cheers and cat-calls around us...

"Get it bitch!"

"I want in on that!"

Surely I can't be the first Amish man to find this underground I?
He drives us to his high-rise apartment in a flashy European sports car which purrs over rutted city streets. We sit on the balcony overlooking the city. He mixes drinks and plays electronica music.
I watch the late night traffic far below and imagine escaping my Amish life...

When he takes me in his arms I want more... Liberation.

I think about my praying father, my hostile family calling me a sinner and I feel cocky. I want to be in the city's embrace. At home I dive into my notebooks of scrawled poetry on these long, hot mad nights of summer... unbutton the shirt slowly. He likes that tonight.

Statement on Mauna Kea

We must always stand for the right thing in life and I will always stand with the kanaka. The Mauna Kea Telescope controversy is an example of the US ignoring the objections of Native Hawaiians. The telescope could easily be located elsewhere, Mauna Kea is akin to building the telescope in a historical church. 

If you are a US citizen in Hawaii or on "the mainland" please call your elected representatives to oppose the construction. America cannot continue to destroy minority indigenous cultures and lands and continue to inflict trauma from colonialism. 

Last Man In Kapoho Looks Back, One Year Later (June 4, 2019)

Happy Pride!

Happy PRIDE Month! 50 Years since Stonewall! A few throwback club / PRIDE photos from my Michigan days!

 Closet Ball 2000

 Carmen SanDiego

Kalamazoo drag performer Amber Foxx

 Brook La Rai

 Sunshine Fest

Kriss Macomber

Jamie Hunter

 Monet St. Croix, Brianna Fest

 Peaches, Una Legend

 Manila Luzon

 GQ Joe

Chelsea Del Ray

 LaDonna Divine

 Vanessa Fox

Includes my essay The Zoo Bar!